This picture was taken just after I had my baby. We were still in the hospital, and I have no makeup on. I love this picture because I felt beautiful even though I had no makeup on. I was holding and loving my beautiful baby girl, and that’s what made me feel so beautiful.
I have always loved makeup. It is fun, and can be an expression of myself. The last nine months or so, up until recently, I haven’t worn a lot of makeup. In fact, most days, I would just wear mascara or nothing at all. There are a few reasons why I was doing this.
- I was pregnant, and running around with two young kids. I didn’t feel like I had energy or time.
- We just moved to a new town, so no one would be super shocked or think something was wrong with me if I didn’t have makeup on. It was just my normal.
- I wanted to love myself without covering up what I thought was ugly. I wanted to truly love my whole self. My body and spirit, which Heavenly Father gave me.
It didn’t start out as a way to try and fully love myself. Really, I was just tired. After a couple of days looking into the mirror with embarrassment, I decided I need to love my face without makeup. Heavenly Father created that face, and I should love it. I think it is important to note that I still took care of myself. I just wasn’t wearing makeup. Some days were really hard, and others were really good. Somedays I worried about what people thought, or compared myself, and that is when it was hard. Other days, I had a mindset of beauty, and I felt beautiful. I felt beautiful because of making fun memories with my kids and actually being present to enjoy them. I felt beautiful because I was serving those who needed help. I felt beautiful because I was relying on Heavenly Father and coming closer to him. I came to some important conclusions from this experience:
- I spend WAY too much time worrying about what I look like and what people are thinking about the way I look.
- Heavenly Father loves me because I am his daughter. He wants me to love myself and be proud of what he created. He also cares more about real beauty; who I am inside.
- I don’t have to wear makeup to love myself. I can let those freckles my husband loves show, even though some would say they are flaws.
- I learned that beauty is a mindset and we can all choose to feel beautiful.
After months of not wearing makeup, I struggled with wearing makeup. I didn’t want to feel fake. I didn’t want my daughters to feel like they had to wear makeup. Again, I was just feeling like I was over thinking the whole thing. There is no reason why I needed to go back to wearing makeup, I was fine with not. As I was pondering about it, I realized that to me, makeup is fun. It’s fun to put on. It helps me feel girly and womanly, which I feel is important. So, makeup is what it is. It is fun, but it doesn’t have to be a cover of something that Heavenly Father created to be so beautiful. It’s all about the mindset. The bottom line is that we are all beautiful with or without makeup. We need to love ourselves though. If we don’t, it can get in the way of our progression in many different ways. Not fully loving myself was hindering my relationship with Heavenly Father and family. I feel like I loved myself, but not fully before this experience. Now I accept who I am and try to have a mindset of beauty. I’ll be honest, not every day do I feel like I fully accept and love myself, but most days I do. It is an ongoing process. When I don’t it’s mostly because I am not being patient enough , or not thinking outside of myself enough. At those times, I pray to Heavenly Father to help me see myself as he does. This has helped me a lot through my recovery journey from bulimia. What is keeping you from fully loving yourself?
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