Yes, it was hard, so hard, but I had to put that aside and focus on doing the right thing for the child growing inside of me. Being 16 and pregnant was not easy. I was going to school everyday and going to LDS Seminary every morning, which started at 6:25 a.m.. Socially, my mom and I kept it a secret from everyone except Parker, my bishop, my church leader, and my caseworker. Once I was about 4 months along, and showing pretty big, we let my school know, my family know, and my church know. The reactions to the big news were not as bad as most would be. I was supported greatly in school and church, the reaction of my family was hard to bear.
I had some siblings that became overprotective and some that distanced themselves a lot from me. My mom helped me through a lot, and I am forever grateful for her. People would ask me why I chose to place my child in an adoption. My answer is one that I will always stand by. I want to give my child two loving parents, a home, a family who will always do right by it. I had to go through less than 60 adoptive couple profiles through LDS Family Services before I found my adoptive couple. I didn’t pick my couple just because they looked wealthy, attractive, or because of their life stories. I prayed and told God that I want to know my couple when I see them, because searching through hundreds of profiles like other expecting mothers was not in my best interest.
When I saw my adoptive couple’s profile, a feeling came over me of peace and assurance. Once I knew they were the adoptive couple for me, I instantly emailed them. We have an open adoption. We began communicating through email for the first few months, then when the gender ultrasound came around we decided to meet for the first time. Initially I had planned on having my mom, the adoptive mother, Jessie, and Parker in the ultrasound room with me. Unfortunately Parker refused to come in, so I invited his father to come in instead. We were all excited and nervous, honestly I swore up and down it was going to be a girl, and surprisingly it was a boy.
After the ultrasound, my adoptive couple, Kevin and Jessie, their daughter, my mom, my cousin, and I went out to lunch. Listening to them talk and laugh was so comforting to me. We found out that Kevin and Jessie had a failed adoption in December, the parents of the child decided to parent last minute in the hospital. Kevin and Jessie had a room set up and painted for a little boy, they had tubs of infant clothing also. Learning that was an answer to my prayers, a confirmation that they were going to be the parents of my baby boy.
Kevin and Jessie came to visit my family and my relatives, then my mom and I went to Utah to visit them. They also met with Parker and his dad when they came to visit me too. Parker wouldn’t talk to me till a week before I had our baby boy in July. I came to learn that he had a girlfriend and they had been dating for many months. That news was very hard for me to take in, especially after learning that his girlfriend had a 2 year old little boy. I was very upset that Parker could love a girl and her son, but leave me all alone with his child. I’m still trying to cope with everything. I forgave Parker for what he did, and how he treated me, but I will never forget any of the pain I went through.
Kevin, Jessie, and I chose the baby’s name together. He was to be named Mason Scott. As time grew nearer and nearer, I was becoming very tired, as most pregnant women do. I finished my sophomore year of high school and Seminary with passing grades. I still went to church each Sunday. I even went to a job interview 3 days before I had Mason. I was and I am still not afraid to tell people my past. It’s not easy to do, but it’s a way for others to learn from my example. I get to see my little Mason Scott whenever I want to, I have basically adopted Kevin and Jessie into my family, and they have adopted my family into theirs.
I had Mason on his due date, July 22nd, which is very rare to happen. Also I had Mason all natural, no pain killers or drugs. Kevin and Jessie, made it to the hospital with 40 minutes to spare before Mason was born. Parker and his dad were in the waiting room outside, waiting for Mason to be born. I didn’t know if Parker was going to show up or not, I was so hurt by him, I didn’t really care at the time. But going back now, I’m grateful that he came to meet his son. We had a photographer capture all of our special moments with Mason and the adoptive parents.
A few months before my dad passed away, he had the impression to buy a little baby boy outfit for his first grandchild. He didn’t know that his first grandchild was going to be placed in an adoption. He knew that he needed to follow that impression. It was a way for me to know that he was able to recognize that Mason was his first grandchild and that he recognized the situation I was in, without himself knowing it at the time.
I took care of Mason during my stay at the hospital, Kevin and Jessie had their own room so I could send Mason to them when I was tired. Holding and taking care of Mason was very unique. It felt like I was babysitting someone else’s child. I love Mason more than anyone can understand. I didn’t have a second thought on placing Mason with Kevin and Jessie. I had alone time with Mason in the hospital, I tried crying and letting all of my emotions out, but they wouldn’t come. There isn’t a day that I don’t think about him, or miss him. I didn’t give him up, I gave him more than I could provide.
Throughout the past few years of my life, I’ve learned to accept everyone for who they are. I don’t know everyone’s story, and most people don’t know mine. I learned that being forgiven and forgiving others is a true way to have peace in your own life. I know that everything happens for a reason, whether we know that reason now or not. I understand that everyone goes through hardships in life, and no one’s trials are greater than someone else’s. I put my trust in God and myself to get me through everything I’ve experienced. I do regret some decisions I have made in my past, but I would not change them if I could because they have made me who I am today. For there is always something good that comes out of something difficult.
Story written by: Makena
To follow more of Makena’s story, read her story “Choosing Life” on Real Imprints.
This story was seen first on Real Imprints.